1. Accepting the reality of a breakup
If you've just gone through a breakup, chances are you're confused and in shock that its actually over between the two of you. The first thing you must realize is, it's not the end of the world and what leaves you life certainly makes room for something better. Women are so caring and nurturing and also emotional, so we might start feeling less worthy because we give our all and sometimes it seems as it's not enough,that's our heads telling us that so it's okay to grieve and let it out and take it as a learning and growth experience. Learn to love yourself and put your energy in to something else. Never stalk or seek revenge because in the end you'll end up losing again, but this time to everyone. Keep your distance and better yourself.
The best revenge is silence and moving on with your life. Easier said than done right? It isn't easy so you have to take it one day at a time and everyday gets better with time. Trust me you will be okay. Don't answer phone calls or find reasons to call her. Think about the negative points in the relationship to help you through this.
2. Being A Friend After The Break Up
Call your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend and let them know you're there for them even though you're not together.
Be a friend instead of an enemy.
Try to be positive about the situation even though someone might have done something wrong and it hurts you but try to forgive and forget.
Advice category: Being friends after the break up call and check on each other regardless to let them know that you're still there for them and you will always love them even if they are not together. I know this doesn't work for everyone but give it a try!
3. Dating after a break is definitely risky business
Ladies, dating after a break is definitely risky business. After a break up you have to allow your self to get back into your single zone. Depending on the way the break up ended, you'd probably carry animosity to the next thinking all men are the same which they aren't. But if you are going to jump out of one ship and in to the next then make sure you remain very observant. Keep your guards up no matter how sweet it sounds to you. See how into you he really is. Listen for the wisdom in his voice because every wise man has a certain dialect that carries a lot of intelligence and it stands out like a soar thumb.
4. Dating after divorce: just be open and find the chemistry back
It is difficult for some to get back into the swing of things after a long difficult marriage and divorce. One may have concerns with trusting and respecting others, especially if their previous spouse was "abusive" in some manner or distrusting (cheating/affairs).
Many of us really want to open ourselves back up to those around us, but find it difficult, in fear of being hurt again. It is important to remember that many people prefer to hold off on sexual relationships until after a few meetings (you know, the getting to know you stages). I have personally found in my four months of joining the dating scene, that many opening lines are "So, When can we have sex?!"
This is a big turn off, to some. For a few of us out there in the pond of dating, we prefer to let chemistry work its course. Taking things slow, doing that whole getting to know you better; before we jump into the sack. Relationships are based on sex along with several other things. Those several other things need to occur first some of the fish in the sea.
My advice: take things slow, and let the chemistry of two people work naturally. Don't be so rushed to get into bed (or the back seat) with someone. Lets show a little respect for your potential significant other. Lets get back to the "dating", movies, dinners, social gatherings.... if all is good, the sex will be there and it may be better than you expected.
5. Do not discuss your ex
It is stated that the easiest way to put a potential partner of you, is to discuss your ex-partner on your first date. This is enough to indicate that you are still not over your ex and this new relationship is a rebound fling that will more than likely not last longer than 2 weeks.
When you first meet, ensure that it is in a public place and discuss each other. You can discuss interests such as hobbies and adventures. Keep the topics light. Only once you are comfortable with each other can the heavier topics be discussed. Do not volunteer information about an ex as the ex is not there to defend him or herself.
6. Find sunshine after the divorce storm
It seems like the end of the world once your divorce has been finalized. In essence, it is the end of your identity as a "married" person...no longer a husband or wife. The shift in how you and others see yourself changes and with every life change, you go through growing pains. You will adjust. Keep transforming your life. Try new activities and keep yourself busy. Let the past go as difficult as it may seem and live in the present. Bring enjoyment to your life.
7. Heal the past. Live the present. Dream the future
My favorite quote: Heal the past... Live the present... Dream the future...
It's OK to hurt, and it's certainly OK to cry, there is a time for grieving but you must eventually exit the clouds and enjoy the sunshine on your face again! Bitterness and unforgiveness are very dangerous emotions that enslave many. That being said, before you begin dating again be sure that you can totally move past your pain to be able to fully enjoy the beauty and magic of living in the now. This is only way you will free yourself to be able to build positive new memories with your brand new friend!
8. How to get over a break up
Make an effort to meet new people and focus on yourself and your own life without him/her. You will eventually stop wondering what he/she is doing. Staying active and exercising will give you a positive endorphin rush and can put you into more social circumstances. You'll be taking care of your body which is good for your health and self esteem. Remember to stay strong and stay focused on your goal!
9. Don't let your ex affect your current date
On a first and second date only focus on you and the intended partner. Ignore the impulse to bring up the past failures with your ex's. Dedicate this special time to get to know your new partner. Remember, the past has already happened and can't be undone. But, belaboring it can destroy the present and future. Use only pictures of you individually, not your ex or part of them, your dog/cat, etc. Remember, it's you that the person is interested in. Include pictures that show you in different circumstances to allow others an opportunity to really see your personality and interests. Don't hide behind pillars/bushes, feathers, etc. If you're self conscious about your look it shows a lack of self-confidence. People don't like to be mislead so if you present yourself accurately and they're still interested, you one step ahead in that department. Also, never include a picture with a name tag on your person, or, company logo/name. That's a safety no-no.
10. Don't compare your ex to your current match
It's great to learn from past experience, but don't expect the same behaviors, qualities. likes and dislikes-and even motivations from your new partner. That would be incredibly unfair and erroneous. Blanketing her with your ex's 'bio' is short-changing the both of you from a deeper level of knowledge, love, understanding and friendship. And please don't compare your ex to their face. They will not like that. If you must, be vague about where you remembered 'it'. Time to start anew. Each of us is an individual, formed by a lifetime of individual experiences, and, probably like yourself, feels a desire to be known and fully appreciated, especially by their eventual life partner. This is very important.
